My best friend took his own life a couple months ago. We’ve been friends since we were little kids. We’re over 30 now.
He was a scientist. He was a fiance. He was a son. He was an uncle. He was loved dearly. He is missed horribly.
When you hear about something like this, you want to know why. I’m not going to share the details. There is no rational explanation. It threw me upside and confused all my senses. I still feel like I’m reeling. But I’m ready now to share my thoughts publicly; even on this medium, my absurdist comedy blog.
We as a society place an overabundance of value on our careers and our achievements. When you don’t meet your own lofty standards, it is easy to fall apart. Place your sense of self-worth within you. The fact that you are living is enough. The hard part is already over: you’re alive! Go do with your life what you wish. No life is wasted unless you choose not to live it. If you love watching TV, go watch TV. If you love surfing the internet, go surf the internet. Doing what you want is not a waste. It’s not pointless. Life IS the point. You’re already alive. Just live.
My best friend said that he knew his family and friends would forgive him, but he couldn’t forgive himself. Forgive yourself. Fail, suck, screw up, flail, falter, fuck everything up.
Failing is living. Go fail.