My best friend took his own life a couple months ago. We’ve been friends since we were little kids. We’re over 30 now. 

He was a scientist. He was a fiance. He was a son. He was an uncle. He was loved dearly. He is missed horribly. 

When you hear about something like this, you want to know why. I’m not going to share the details. There is no rational explanation. It threw me upside and confused all my senses. I still feel like I’m reeling. But I’m ready now to share my thoughts publicly; even on this medium, my absurdist comedy blog.

We as a society place an overabundance of value on our careers and our achievements. When you don’t meet your own lofty standards, it is easy to fall apart. Place your sense of self-worth within you. The fact that you are living is enough. The hard part is already over: you’re alive! Go do with your life what you wish. No life is wasted unless you choose not to live it. If you love watching TV, go watch TV. If you love surfing the internet, go surf the internet. Doing what you want is not a waste. It’s not pointless. Life IS the point. You’re already alive. Just live. 

My best friend said that he knew his family and friends would forgive him, but he couldn’t forgive himself. Forgive yourself. Fail, suck, screw up, flail, falter, fuck everything up. 

Failing is living. Go fail.

aurlthatyoufindfunny:

beforetherewasinternet:

aurlthatyoufindfunny:

they tweet that but then say they wont change things like ughahhhahhh

Here’s an idea: go on Twitter. Search for Yahoo. Click on Yahoo. Scroll to May 19. Find this tweet.

If you find it, I will put you in an episode of my super secret project that no one knows about.

Also, I’m working on a super secret project. It’s set to launch in… some time in Fall. Don’t tell your friends. It’s a secret.

fake tweet. i didnt know. no need to get sassy.

There is always a need. Always.

aurlthatyoufindfunny:

they tweet that but then say they wont change things like ughahhhahhh

Here’s an idea: go on Twitter. Search for Yahoo. Click on Yahoo. Scroll to May 19. Find this tweet.

If you find it, I will put you in an episode of my super secret project that no one knows about.

Also, I’m working on a super secret project. It’s set to launch in… some time in Fall. Don’t tell your friends. It’s a secret.

bestnatesmithever:

laughingsquid:

Animated Version of Patton Oswalt’s ‘Star Wars: EpIsode VII’ Plot Proposal

Watch this now

Oh… oh— ohwow. 

Wow.

Random Kristen Wiig SNL Moments: Maya Rudolph’s monologue

I was already naked when my roommate shouted, “I’m about to shower, so if you’re going to, use the other one!” Our bathroom is like a winter cabin spa. It’s got two rooms, one with the toilet and another for the double-sink and shower. You walk in and there’s shelves for towels and toiletries on the left, then the toilet room, then the sinks and the shower. And it’s all wood and mahogany and stuff. It’s nice. This is the basement bathroom. We have another on the third floor that’s more normal.

I was grabbing my shampoo from the shelves, naked, my clothes on the floor by the shower, when my roommate shouted from the toilet. I hesitated, unable to decide between arguing and giving in. That’s when I saw the knob turning and heard the door creak.

Panic.

The door opened towards the shower. It would take her approximately 1.4 seconds for her to open the door, exit, close the door and see me. She was in between my clothes and me. I could scream for her to wait. Or…

I bolted. I took two stairs at a time up the spiral staircase. Pumping my left arm, shaking that shampoo, trying to cover my waggling junk with my right hand. Usually I enjoy being the center of attention, but not like this. I don’t want anyone but the most intimate of intimates to see my lanky limbs, pale rib cage and dinky Dinky. I do not need my roommates to know me this way.

When I hit the second floor, I froze. Tina Fey was strolling into the kitchen, long confident strides. Brown, wavy hair down to her shoulders, uncombed. Her back was to me. She hadn’t seen me. Her hand hovered behind her butt so I couldn’t see the crack. She was naked too.

I ran up the second flight, giggling. Nervous laughter but also complete relief.  If Tina Fey can stroll through my home, naked, covering her junk with her hand and not feel a shred of embarrassment, I can too.

Tina Fey is like the epitome of cool so, yeah, my dreams are pretty cool. 

hockeymess:

SUPER MAN! For grad games night lol

Yes.

modernilluminators:

Alex Ross-Superman 

From Kingdom Come. Maybe the best Superman comic ever. 

are2:

Game over

Now she has a tumblog that’s nothing but reblogs of my posts. It’s like she knows exactly how to make me hate myself.

yeahwriters:

Gorgeous & so cool

aurlthatyoufindfunny:

Interviewer: There’s one thing that’s interesting about your books. I noticed that you write women really well and really different. Where does that come from?

George R.R. Martin: You know, I’ve always considered women to be people.

“And I watch a lot of porn.”

mswyrr:

actionactioncut:

supersoygrrrl:

dmsd:

I’m sorry, but if someone said this about a woman, it would not be funny. I hate the idea that it’s okay for women to be sexist toward men because sexism towards females is more prominent. This is why I don’t consider myself a feminist, but rather an equalist. 

…”someone” says this about women all the time. Someone by the name of EVERYONE.

#Men Can’t Even Understand Jokes

 

bestnatesmithever:

md1032:

oyrishcreme:

sonicdoctors:

dead-end-generation:

So I got sent to the dean today for wearing this top. My study tech teacher said that I was “exploiting” myself and that it could be a distraction to the other students. I got up out of my seat and told her that I wasn’t going to listen to her dress codes. In a way, she was being misogynist and slut shaming and I think that’s wrong. I will continue to wear what I want and nobody can tell me not to. The fact that womens bodies are sexualized and objectified so much angers me and that’s the reason why this happened. I’m going to wear what I want, how I want, when I want and that’s it.

I was there, reblog the shit out of this guys

I’m a guy. I can’t wear a shirt like this either, even though I’m not going to be wearing a bra. it’s dress code. It’s not slut shaming. You can’t show your bra like that at most jobs. why should you at school? Yes sexism is wrong and all that, but you can’t get ‘angry at the patriarchy” because you can’t show your undergarments in public. I’m not going to wear jeans with a rip in the side  or the front that show off my flowery boxers, because that’s just not appropriate for school. Have some professionalism. You can wear whatever you like at home or with your friends or whatever, yes, but school prepares you for real life.

At work you can’t have this attitude of “I wear the fuck ever I want.” and expect to keep your job. School is the same way because it’s trying to teach you that lesson. That’s unrealistic; almost any job you get is going to have someone tell you what to wear or what to do because you work for them and you represent their company. If you don’t look the way they need you to look, that makes them look bad. A tattoo parlor probably isn’t going to hire someone who dresses like a nun and a top company isn’t going to hire someone who comes to work in a tank top that shows off her bra or a guy that shows off his ballsack. 

You can’t blame patriarchy for this, I’m sorry. You can’t blame sexism for this. If I wore booty shorts and you could almost see my balls through my semi transparent flowery goddamn boxers, I would get in the same amount of trouble as you, and it’s within good reason.

Yeeaaaahhh…. but school is not work. You do not choose school or even which school you go to (without relocating your family or paying for private school). But you do get to choose your workplace and find one that suits your wants and needs. You must go to school by penalty of law. But, you must not work in an office with a dress code. You don’t even have to work for others. And you absolutely can have the attitude of “I wear the fuck I want” and keep your job if you find a job that allows that. And there are countless such jobs. [Eg. Any job where you work from home, found/own a company (see: Google, Facebook), artist of any kind (see: Prince, Kanye West), NFL coach (see: Bill Belichick), etc.]

In this specific instance, we’re not talking about exposed genitalia. Bras are breast support and breasts are not genitals. This is not a case of, “I can see your private parts, please cover up.” The complaint is for a refusal to “cover her bra”. This is an unrealistic demand. Bras cannot and should not be covered at all times. Do women have to cover their bra straps too? That’s part of the bra. That means no tanktops. 

I suppose there’s always the option of wearing no bra. Except men go absolutely ape shit when a woman doesn’t wear a bra. So much so that Seinfeld had an entire episode about it. 

So, showing the side of a bra is inappropriate. Wearing no bra is inappropriate. And a man wearing booty shorts so tight that you can “almost see his balls through his semi-transparent flowery goddamn boxers” is equally inappropriate?